conflicted

“ . . . what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Mark 10:17 (TNIV)

“ . . . what must I do to get eternal life?” Mark 10:17 (The Message)

“Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him!” Mark 10:21 (The Message)

“He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.” Mark 10:22 (The Message)

This wealthy young man enthusiastically approaches Jesus with the desire to inherit (a term of wealth) or get (a term of consumerism) eternal life. Some of his desire must have been genuine and sincere because when Jesus looks deeply into his heart and soul, Jesus loves him. But then Jesus tells him to do the last thing that he expected—turn your back on what has been the focus of your life up to this moment in time (wealth, possessions, status, clout, etc.) and become a vagrant who follows a teacher around from town to town. No doubt this young man felt very alarmed by what he had heard. Jesus’ request offered none of the things that this wealthy young man was accustomed to in life and it required more than he ever imagined would be asked of him. How could this kind of drastic action be good for him? I wonder why he approached Jesus in the first place? Did he think he’d be “adding to his treasures” by getting eternal life, too? Why does anyone approach Jesus in the first place? I don’t know and it’s not my place to judge, but one thing is certain: this young man had no idea of what he was asking for. He had no idea that what he sought to get from Jesus was of a much greater value and cost than what he already possessed—and it was just too much for him to accept (or follow through on) at that moment in his life. Jesus’ words were too far removed from what this young man had anticipated hearing and he was overwhelmed. So he walked away feeling conflicted and heartbroken about the choice that Jesus had set before him. I don’t know if the passage of time enabled this young man to change his mind and choose differently, but I’m hoping that he did. Jesus is patient and respectful with those he loves, allowing them the time they need to process and grow.

So . . . what about me? What is God asking of me, in this moment of my life, that I feel is too much to ask? What am I seeking in this moment and what am I willing to give in order to get it? What am I holding too tightly onto, and what will it take for me to relax my clenched fist? Why do I not simply open my hands and let go so I can be free to follow Jesus?

What about you?