alone

“As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross.” Matthew 27:32

“He trusts in God.” Matthew 27:43

As Jesus hangs on the cross, waiting for his time to die, where are his disciples and those who followed him? Where are his Father in heaven and the many legions of angels who were at his disposal? Where are Jesus’ family members and personal friends? All seem to be elsewhere—this is an experience that Jesus has to endure alone, separated from all but those who hate him and regard him with contempt. A very few who love him may be watching from a safe distance, but is he aware of their presence as he waits in the dark? Jesus surely knows in his heart that he still belongs to the Trinity, and perhaps the Holy Spirit is there (unseen) ministering strength and courage to him, but the physical suffering and the earthly humiliation and disgrace must be a solitary experience for him. This is his cross to bear.

Earlier in the day, Simon from Cyrene had been caught off guard and forced by the Roman soldiers to participate in this traumatic event. This was an experience that Simon did not deserve, could not escape or avoid. I don’t know what business, desire or need brought him into the city at that moment but I am certain that the day did not go as he had anticipated. Simon could not have experienced the events and demands placed upon him that day without it having an impact upon him. I suspect that it was deeply etched in his memory for the rest of his earthly life.

Just like Simon, we all have unanticipated experiences and demands forced upon us at various times. As we walk through life, we all have our own moments/seasons when we find ourselves enduring our own crosses alone. The Father in heaven is watching over us, Jesus is empathizing and guiding us, and the Holy Spirit is intervening in action and prayer for us (whether recognized by us or not), but we are nonetheless alone in the actual living out of the suffering, loss and pain. This is part of our own “sharing in the sufferings of Christ”. It’s also the pathway to our regression and sustained immaturity of faith or to transformation and maturity of faith as followers of Jesus and citizens of God’s kingdom. Jesus had to remember who he is in the Trinity, and how good, faithful and trustworthy his Father in heaven is to endure and prevail over his solitary suffering. So must I, for therein lies my only hope of present help and future joy.

In your times of suffering, may you lean into Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and embrace the experiences that are brought to you in their presence and care. You may feel alone, but they are always with you—you are never truly alone.