refocus

by hovering love

“Watch out for the religion scholars. They love to walk around in academic gowns, preen in the radiance of public flattery, bask in prominent positions, sit at the head table at every church function. And all the time they are exploiting the weak and helpless. The longer their prayers, the worse they get. But they’ll pay for it in the end.” Luke 20:45-47 (The Message)

A group of religion scholars question Jesus with the intent of trapping him with his own words. Jesus then asks them how the Messiah can be both David’s son and David’s God at the same time. (Luke 20:44) To me, the answer seems obvious: Messiah is called “David’s son” because he comes from David’s line of descendants; Messiah is called “David’s God/Lord” because he is God, living on earth in human form. That doesn’t sound like such a hard question for “scholars of Scripture” to answer to me, but I don’t know what they understood or expected regarding Messiah. Also, my perspective comes from hindsight; whereas, they were trying to discern what Jesus said and claimed in the moment regarding something that they were looking forward to in the future. Everything is much easier to see and discern in hindsight (thus the saying about it being 20/20), but discernment in the moment can be a much different matter—especially if your focus isn’t really on “discerning truth” in the first place. Jesus then warns his disciples not to be like these scholars who love power and prestige and status and respect—even at the expense of others. Some of these scholars may have begun their “career” in honesty and sincerity with a true desire to know God and help others to know him, as well. But as the years passed, it was far too easy for them to be swept up in the perks and privileges of their position without realizing the detrimental effects these can have on you, personally and professionally. If you aren’t paying attention and subjecting these “benefits”, as well as your own attachment to them, to scrutiny and reflection, you can end up being worthy of severe punishment in the end without knowing why or how it happened in the first place. A very sobering thought, indeed! Sobering for me as a person who may be in a position of teaching and leading others, and sobering for me as a person who may be tempted to judge (and condemn) others who are in positions of teaching and leading me. This scenario is a true possibility for all of us, regardless of what our position or occupation, and regardless of the form and nature of the benefits that we receive from it. The penalty for allowing myself to fall into the trap of these scholars sounds quite severe, however just it may be, and I don’t want to find myself worthy of it—ever.

At this point, I’m reminded that Jesus didn’t come to earth to judge or condemn mankind, but so that mankind would be saved through him. (John 3:17) As I consider this truth in light of my own temptations to fall into the “scholar’s trap”, I hear God say this to me: “Don’t judge or condemn—yourself or anyone else. Be alert and pay attention! Consider your thoughts, and the ways that you act upon them, with care. Discern the way before you and make your choices based upon the light and truth that I provide for you. Each day that you live on earth is a gift from me to you—live each day as my loving child and servant, allowing me to promote and provide salvation in all its forms to those who need it through you. This can only happen when you consciously choose to place your own “benefits” aside so you can focus on the reason for my advent into this world—to bring salvation: love, joy, forgiveness, grace, hope and peace to a world filled with people who desperately need it.”

child

by hovering love

“Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Luke 18:17 (The Message)

If a child is going to hold tight to something, it will be to the one who cares for them: a parent, grandparent or guardian. There is only one exception, or perhaps addition, that I’ve seen to that truth: their “security” item (a blanket, stuffed animal or toy, etc.). But even then, a child usually has only one security item, not “mansions” filled with items like adults will endeavor to have. A child’s trust and security seems to be very simple and focused, for example: “my mommy and my blanket”. That’s all that’s really needed for a child to be happy and content, to feel safe and secure, and for them to rest and be at peace. Situations of extreme poverty can cause this not to be essentially true, and some parents who are currently in the trenches of raising their children may beg to differ with me as well, but as I look back over my years in those trenches, I recognize that a large part of what a child really needs is one loving, caring relationship and one treasured item. These “possessions” can provide comfort and stability for children, even when their situation is less than favorable. As I ponder this reality, I can’t help but ask myself, “What one relationship and one item can provide the same for me?”

I recognize a longing within myself for the freedom to be a simple child who lives a simple life consisting of one relationship and one item of comfort and familiarity. But living this simple lifestyle would require that I let go of the many things that I have acquired as an adult. I fear the real and imagined loss of “selling all that I have, giving to the poor and following Jesus”. How could this even be possible for me to do; after all, I have a spouse and a house filled with items and the decision to keep or dispose of these items is not up to me to make alone. Now I not only feel longing and fear, but I’m beginning to feel a bit trapped as well! Like Jesus’ disciples, I find myself wondering what must I do to be saved from my dilemma!

In the midst of my silent listening, I hear God say this to me.

“Doing is a trap, a trap that you can’t escape on your own. You must have help—from others and from God—to escape the trap’s “teeth” or grip. The process of getting rid of your item-filled house must be one that you walk through with your spouse. The “community” aspect of this process is your teacher and guide—be attentive and learn from it. In your own childhood, you grew up as an only child never knowing the irritations or the joys of having and being a sibling. As an adult, you have been the mother who has raised offspring to adulthood, often marveling and being mystified by the sibling interactions that you’ve witnessed among your children—the comforting familiarities as well as the oppressive pitfalls. As I now “grow you back down” to the simplicity of a child, your life in community with your spouse (and others) gives you the opportunity to experience life as a sibling, as co-heirs with each other and with Jesus before God, the Father. This is not something that you do. It’s something that you are. Be who you are. Be my darling child who clings to my neck for dear life, not ever letting go. Cling tightly, also, to your “security blanket”: my Holy Spirit. She alone will provide you with the comforting sense of familiarity, security, love and peace that you need to face the ups and downs of life as my child. Focus your attention on my Spirit and trust in me as your “Abba” (“Daddy”), and you will be the child that you long to be. I guarantee it!”

With tears on my cheeks and from the depths of my heart, I thank you, Abba, for the privilege and joy of being your child!

 

 

 

 

small

by hovering love

“Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to?” Luke 13:18

“Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.” Luke 13:24

First Jesus searches for the right story or word picture to describe the Kingdom of God to his listeners. He describes the kingdom as a tiny seed that, when planted, grows into a huge tree that eagles nest in. He also describes it as yeast that is kneaded into flour and works its way all through the dough, enabling the dough to rise and become tasty, nourishing bread. Then a passerby asks Jesus if only a few people will be saved, and Jesus replies with an encouragement to enter through the “narrow gate”. “Hmm, what does that mean,” you ask, “and what does it have to do with metaphors about seeds and yeast?” Hmm, I wonder, too.

As I ponder the seeds and yeast, some sense begins to emerge. In each case, the kingdom is described as something that begins very small and grows very large. In each case, the kingdom is described as something that is very commonplace; something that you could easily take for granted and overlook as being too ordinary and too simple to devote any real thought or reflection to. Yet, in each case, something very essential is provided: energy that enables growth to occur and its host to “rise”. Though humans must make some effort, to plant a seed and knead some dough, in each case, it is God and God alone who enables the transformation to occur. THIS is how Jesus describes the Kingdom of God!

Because God’s kingdom is so simple and ordinary in nature, it does require special effort and attention to notice it and appreciate it for what it is, and to value it correctly. This effort, attention, noticing, appreciating and valuing are required for us to enter into God’s kingdom—it’s what enables us to know God so intimately that we see and recognize God in all things every day. I believe this intimate knowing and seeing to be the “narrow gate” that Jesus describes—the narrow way that enables us to enter into God’s kingdom on God’s terms, not our own. This requires intentionality on my part, but it also requires that once I’ve done my small part I must be willing to take my hands off of it and trust God to do the rest, as God sees fit. So, what makes this a “narrow” way? Not all will take the time and exert the energy to pursue God’s kingdom in this manner. It sounds so simple—possibly far too simple for some people to grasp or accept. Many of us devise our own requirements and criteria for entering God’s kingdom without realizing it, unconsciously believing that we know better than God what the “narrow gate” should look like and consist of. I believe that only brings frustration and despair, preventing us from entering when we expect to be welcomed in. That’s part of the paradox and mystery of the Kingdom of God. That’s what trips us up and leaves us out in the cold—unless we’re intentionally focusing our eyes and ears to see and hear God in and through the simple, the small, and the ordinary of every day life. Though our world encourages us to “live large,” remember that God can always be found in the small.

test

by hovering love

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Luke 10:25

A religion scholar “tests” Jesus with a simple enough question. I confess that the word “inherit” has the connotation of entitlement to me that I don’t like to associate with my faith in Jesus. As heirs of Christ, we may be “entitled” to eternal life, but God’s grace is always a gift not to be assumed, presumed or taken for granted.

The scholar then asks another question in an attempt to justify his own external behavior. God certainly sees the outward behaviors of mankind, but he pays focused attention to the attitudes and motivations of the heart. Interestingly enough, it seems that many people have some familiarity with the story of the Good Samaritan whether they have any personal knowledge or connection with Jesus or not. I’d say this is for good reason, too.

This religion scholar’s motivation is unknown to me. He may be feeling entitled or just wanting to “get” what he wants for himself. Then again, he may be testing Jesus in obedience to a command from his superiors among the religious leadership in Jerusalem. Jesus answers his question in a respectful manner with some questions of his own. The scholar answers well, but I sense some entitlement in his tone as he asks one more question to “justify himself”. Jesus no longer responds with questions; he teaches with the aid of a story. Without judgment or criticism from Jesus, the scholar’s attempt to justify himself is shown for what it is, and his tone changes from one of entitlement and superiority to one of humility. The scholar may have come to test Jesus, but Jesus tested him and led him to a new place of deeper personal perception and understanding.

I wonder if the scholar was impressed with Jesus. I am. I’m amazed and humbled by Jesus. His ability to challenge and confront and redirect and correct by means of asking questions and telling stories that move us from our superficial illusions and excuses to the deepest places of our hearts and souls is not just impressive, it’s quite beautiful. With firmness but also with respect and kindness, Jesus enables us to see what is in our own hearts and inspires us to be the very best version of our self. This story is really about Jesus himself – he is the Good Samaritan to one and all.

Lord Jesus, I rarely come across people in my daily life who are physically beaten and left for dead, but I am frequently surrounded by a world of people whose minds, hearts and souls are beaten and hurting badly. Please teach and enable me to be a Good Samaritan to everyone that I meet . . . just like you. Amen!

still

by hovering love

I was recently having lunch with a friend who asked me, “How did you acquire the peace that you have? What book did you read? What spiritual discipline did you practice?” My immediate thought was, “Wow! That’s a very good question!” After several minutes of reflection, an answer entered my thoughts.

How does one acquire peace? The answer is quite simple. First, you sit quiet and still, doing nothing, for a long enough period of time that you finally begin to hear what God is saying to you about you. Then, you continue to sit quiet and still as you slowly unpack and process what God is saying to you about you. This is followed by more sitting quiet and still as you wrestle and come to terms with what God is saying to you about you. At this point, you sit quiet and still as you slowly detach from and let go of all that God is saying to you about you. More sitting quiet and still occurs as you embrace and develop an acceptance of this entire process. And then one day as you are sitting quiet and still, you begin to recognize that something is different about you (don’t be surprised if this new awareness results from having someone share that you seem different to them); that you possess a sense of peace that you’ve never had before. You can’t seem to remember how many years have passed as you sat quiet and still, doing nothing, but you are grateful for these many years just the same because of how they have developed and deepened your heart and soul. You are keenly aware that what you have “done” (as you sat quiet and still, doing nothing) has been rather hard work. Indeed, it is a Herculean task for humans to sit quiet and still, doing nothing, as they listen and unpack and process and wrestle and come to terms with and detach from and let go of and embrace and accept. This gift of peace that God has graciously and generously given to you (for it truly is a gift) has been very “hard-earned” for you. It is, in fact, the hardest-earned gift that you will ever be given and receive. In addition to giving you peace, it will also fill your mind, heart, body and soul with a deep life and love and joy. And then what do you do? You sit quiet and still, listening to hear what God is saying to you about how he wants you to express and demonstrate your gift of peace with everyone who comes across your path today . . . and everyday.

autumn

by hovering love

 

Atchison, KS – Version 2

My first sight of this photo makes me feel happy and alive. Autumn is here! My birthday, fabulous leaf colors, sunny yet cool days, crisp nights and mornings—all join together to make autumn my favorite season. Though autumn always signifies the end of summer (fruitfulness) and the approach of winter (dormant hibernation), autumn always seems to be brimming with life to me. As leaves change color and fall, I feel a burst of life and beauty—like a last hoorah, a party of beauty before we close our eyes for a cozy winter nap. Autumn is a time for rest from our “labors of fruitfulness” and a time to enjoy the “fruits of our labors”. It’s like a vacation or a retreat. Which reminds me, I’m going to an abbey near my home this weekend for a retreat—at time to rest, regroup, recharge and enjoy. This retreat is my birthday gift to me and I expect to find God there, too!

Pondering this photo, I become aware of how I’ve been feeling lately. As my favorite season has been approaching, my usual aches and pains, joined by the typical losses that we all experience as we age, have slowed me down and stolen my “joie de vie”. I’m not all that old, but I’m not all that young anymore either. I’ve definitely been feeling old, but this photo and what it represents to me makes me feel beautiful and alive—even as the leaves turn brown and fall off of me.

As I meditate on what God has to say to me through this photo, I hear him say . . .

“You are in the autumn of your life, and many things are changing, dying and being lost. But beauty and life are still there, because I am still there with you. You may no longer be the one “bearing fruit”, but that is good. You’ve had your turn to bear fruit; now you’re allowing me to have my turn to bear fruit in and through you. Brown, falling leaves may signify death and loss to you, but I use even your deaths and losses to spread my love abroad to all around you. Remember always—nothing is ever lost or wasted with me. My life is vibrant within you and always will be as long as you allow my life and love to flourish within you. Enjoy your retreat—I’ll see you there!”

cloud

by hovering love

“While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and covered them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud.” Luke 9:34 (NIV)

Jesus climbed up onto a mountain to pray, taking James, John and Peter with him. The three disciples were very sleepy, perhaps even nodding off a bit. Without them realizing it, something spectacular began to occur. They must have wondered at first if they were dreaming, but they rapidly became fully awake and aware of the odd and amazing happenings in their midst. The disciples saw Jesus speaking with two other men (whom they somehow recognized as Moses and Elijah), all three of whom were glowing brightly white. In his flustered excitement, Peter began babbling about making something in honor of the occasion only to be interrupted by an even more overwhelming occurrence—they found themselves being enveloped by a cloud in which they heard the actual voice of God speaking to them. Is it any wonder that they felt fear as they entered this cloud?

Considering this “cloud of God’s presence” brings to my mind the anonymous work of Christian mysticism, “The Cloud of Unknowing”. Entering into the cloud of God’s presence and mystery (my unknowing) is worthy of eliciting fear: of the unknown, of being in the presence of ultimate power and holiness, of having no control, of the limitations and inadequacies of being human, etc. The reasons for experiencing fear (in the form of both terror and awe) in the presence and mystery of God are without end. I find the relationship between these two uses of the word “cloud” to be both curious and unnerving. I appreciate and empathize with the disciples’ fear in that moment. The prospect and possibility of entering into the presence and mystery of God causes me to feel the same. I long to be united with God as closely and completely as I can, yet I often fear the personal changes involved in entering “the cloud of unknowing”. That’s why I am tempted to turn back and retrace old steps instead of allowing myself to enter and walk through the cloud with God. I never know what awaits me in both the fear itself and the unknown before me, or how it will turn out in the end. As I ponder my dilemma, I hear Jesus say this to me:

“Fear will always be present in this earthly life, but it has no real power over you. YOU CHOOSE – either to give in to the fear, or to push it aside and continue on your way. Being and living in my Kingdom requires you to demonstrate bravery—to resist the fear, and trust in my love and power for you. I am always with you . . . ALWAYS! Trust in my forever and always presence with you, and continue on your way. The “end result” will never be what you think you desire, anticipate or expect. Enter into the fear knowing this to be true, and be flexible enough to accept and receive what I bring to you. My love and care for you will NEVER change. The end game is always MINE, and it’s always far better than you desire, anticipate or expect (not just for you, but also for all those around you). Only the smallest amount of bravery is needed to send you on your way—I work miraculous wonders with very small things. Don’t be afraid when I envelope you in my cloud. Bravely enter into it. Look for me there, and you will find me. And, as always, follow me.”

quibble

by hovering love

“They were surprised and impressed—his teaching was so forthright, so confident, so authoritative, not the quibbling and quoting they were used to.”  Luke 4:32 (Message)

Quibble is rather a fun-sounding word, even if its meaning isn’t.  If all the other religious teachers in Jesus’ time “quibbled”—arguing, complaining, nitpicking over unimportant details, quoting other “authorities” to support their own points and ideas (I think today we might call that “name dropping”)—then Jesus’ approach of authenticity (speaking from what he knows to be true in his life and being) would be very refreshing indeed!  What a pleasant relief it must have been to hear Jesus teach!

Since not quibbling worked so well for Jesus, I can’t help but wonder why so many Christians today engage in it?  Nitpicking over nonessential doctrines and unimportant details only leads to division and disunity.  Arguing and complaining are simply symptoms of ego and pride, not humble self-sacrifice.  Validating your words by quoting popular or well-promoted Christian pastors and/or authors is frequently done to impress, and reveals a lack of true ownership for your own spirituality.  These words of mine may sound harsh, but are they untrue?      

Jesus knew who he was and how he was called by God.  He intentionally lived into his identity and his calling, trusting in the guidance and support that he received from the Father and the Holy Spirit.  Jesus possessed authority that had been given to him by his Father.  In addition, his authenticity regarding his true being and how he lived that out in his daily life naturally lended even more authority to his actions and teachings.  As Jesus’ followers, we have all received our own unique identity and calling from the Father.  The question is, are we choosing to waste precious time and energy quibbling or are we trusting our identity and calling in Christ and intentionally living into it?  As I ponder this question for myself, I hear Jesus say the following to me:     

“My sister and friend, I have planted my truth within you and it has grown.  There is more for you to learn, but you can be confident and authentic regarding what you have already received from me.  Your authenticity is your authority!  Claim what you do know.  Boldly proclaim it with your words and through your actions.  I have placed my authority within you—share it with me as we use it to our Father’s glory.”

Do I hear an “Amen!”?

process

by hovering love

process: a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Faith is a process.

When life is going the way we desire, we can find ourselves basking in the illusion that our faith is solid and true. But what happens to our faith when harsh realities of life turn our basking into wailing and shatters our illusions all to hell? I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me I tend to get rather emotional. When a person professes to place their faith and trust in a God who is always good and gracious, what do we do with our emotions at a time like that?

How do I react when I’m feeling confused and disappointed by God? Anger is a natural first reaction in times of disappointment, confusion, frustration or loss. My second emotion speaks up very quickly and often accompanies the anger—hurt. As old as I am (and I’m certainly old enough, indeed), I am still caught off guard by the things in life that elicit a reaction of anger and hurt. This pair of emotions expresses itself in the form of whining, complaining and self-justification, none of which help me (or anyone else!) in any way. It’s usually a bit of time before I get around to acknowledging that God’s ways aren’t my ways, nor are his desires and plans likely to always match up with mine (if ever). An even longer amount of time passes before I’m willing to accept and trust that God’s ways are good—even though I can’t see any of God’s good in my present situation at that moment.   Slowly, humble acceptance and contentment come as gifts as I wait to see what God is doing/will do. Humble because I come to terms with the fact that I’m not God, and I see and know very little (if anything at all). Anger is no match for humility; it cannot remain strong in the presence of a truly humbled heart. Gradually, even the hurt within me begins to diminish and heal, being transformed into contentment. Only then am I truly willing to wait—upon God’s timing, and God’s gracious plan for all involved. I guess this process is necessary to enable me to let go of whatever attachments caused me to feel confused, disappointed, angry and hurt in the first place.

Faith is a process, a never-ending process.

nothing

by hovering love

“So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and putting their faith in him.” John 12:10, 11

Even though the Jewish leadership is plotting a double murder scenario (Jesus and Lazarus), their evil intent can’t stop or even dampen the overwhelming sense of awe, wonder and joy that surrounds Lazarus’ resurrection and Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. If there wasn’t so much joy and praise of God being expressed, this scene might resemble an out-of-control mob—but the praise and joy do prevail and energize this celebration.

My attention today turns to Lazarus. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before that this large crowd formed for the purpose of seeing Lazarus, as well as Jesus. How humbling and exciting for him to be such a key player in this scene. Exciting because he gets to “share the stage” with someone that he worships and adores. Humbling because the reason for his being on that “stage” has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him! After all, the only thing that Lazarus did to bring himself to such prominence was to die and be buried for 4 days. Lazarus expended no energy at all. Jesus did all the rest, without the slightest response or cooperation on Lazarus’ part.

Sweet Lazarus! As I ponder this truth about his experience, I am reminded that the same is true of my life and being as well. Without me ever thinking a thought, feeling an emotion, speaking a word, performing an action or even being deliberate about an intention, God gives me the gift of being his daughter, and heavenly life to experience being a daughter of God in and through (even while I remain on earth)! I do nothing; indeed, there is nothing that I am capable of doing to bring this about or sustain and maintain it. It is truly all God’s doing.

Thank you, God, for your many gifts and graces to me. Just like Lazarus, may the life you give to me be attractive to others, causing them to draw near to you with open curiosity, joyous celebration, humble gratitude and heartfelt praise.