Tag: Blessing

earn

by hovering love

“And when those who had been hired first came to be paid, they were convinced that they would receive more.” Matthew 20:10 (TPT)

“Why should my generosity make you jealous of them?” Matthew 20:15 (TPT)

Jesus describes the kingdom of God with a story about a landowner who hires people to work in his field. He hires many people as he comes across them throughout the day: at daybreak, at 9:00am, at noon, at 3:00pm and at 5:00pm. He agrees to pay the accepted daily wage with each person he employs. When evening comes, the workers line up (from the last hired to the first hired) to receive their pay. When the workers hired at daybreak see those hired at 5:00pm receiving the full “daily wage” amount, they assume and expect that they will receive much more pay. When they are also given the agreed upon daily wage amount, the same amount received by those who only worked one hour compared to the entire day that they worked, they become offended and angry. They complain to the landowner, calling his treatment of them unfair. The landowner denies any unfairness and reminds them that they received the amount that they agreed to. He also states that he has a right to spend his money as he sees fit, and he sees no reason why his generosity would justify their jealousy of others.

I can understand and appreciate the conflict described in this story. The workers are coming from the perspective and goal of earning money. The landowner is coming from the perspective and goal of extending grace and mercy while simultaneously getting his grapes harvested. The landowner is not just thinking of his own personal gain (completing the harvest); he’s also thinking about his community—providing jobs and income for all the people that he can, and being generous in the process. The earliest workers appear to have no complaints until they compare themselves with those who are hired last—turning their focus towards getting what they think they deserve in comparison to what they believe others have earned. Their code of justice is offended, and they resent being viewed in the same light as others that they believe to be less deserving. I admit that I understand their anger. In the world system, which is based upon earning what you get, their experience is completely unfair—it is, in fact, downright un-American! But the landowner, who represents God, has a different system with a whole different view of justice—it cannot be “earned”, it can only be received. God’s justice is based on grace, mercy and love, not what you’ve done (earned) or not done. Therein lies the rub: world system vs. heaven system. I’m happy and grateful to be a recipient of God’s grace, mercy and love. But am I equally happy and grateful to observe others, who I believe to be less deserving, receive God’s grace, mercy and love as well? Am I humble enough to view myself as being in the same “undeserving boat” with others, especially those who I view as being thoroughly inhumane—unloving, uncaring and un-repentant? How difficult is it for me to relinquish the codes of the world system for the alarming and bewildering codes of grace of heaven’s system? How willing am I to relinquish my assumptions and expectations regarding what I think I (and others) deserve? How readily do I accept and receive God’s merciful ways regarding myself, and others? All good questions, indeed!

The “great reversal” of the first being last and the last being first in the kingdom of God is confusing, for sure! From an earthly, worldly perspective it makes no sense, it can’t be figured out and it even seems quite unjust.  Is that because the world is in the realm of the mind, whereas, heaven is in the realm of the heart? Who can mentally grasp, let alone comprehend, the love, mercy and grace of God? Not me!

As I ponder this, I hear Jesus say to me:

“Dear child, don’t try to figure out my love—just receive it! Let go of the worldly codes that you were raised on and have worked so hard to observe; they will never satisfy the needs and longings of your heart and soul, they will only disappoint and exhaust you. Come to me and embrace my love, mercy and grace—both for yourself and for the world around you. There is NOTHING on this earth that I do not love—I love every person, animal, vegetable, mineral, land, sky, ocean, etc. I love it ALL! Embrace my love and allow my love to embrace you—only then can you be fully human, only then can you live life as it was intended to be lived. I want this for you because I love you and I want you to be with me always—each moment of each day.”

Thank you, Jesus! So be it! Amen!

shade

by hovering love

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This photo evokes opposite emotions within me. Viewing the rugged, sunny coastline, the rich blue ocean and the pale blue sky fills my heart with a sense of adventure and longing—longing for the sunny vision that’s nearby, just waiting for me to join it. The trees in the foreground that I view the coastline through are almost black in appearance—deeply in shadows compared to the brightly lit coastline. This makes me feel like I’m in the dark, watching from the shadows. That sounds ominous, but it doesn’t feel that way. Oddly enough, I feel content to stand in this shade—it’s cool and quiet here, protected from the wind off the ocean and the bright glare of the sun. This is not the “dead dark of night” that I feel. This shade is a place of rest, where I can catch my breath. It gives me a feeling of safety and peace. The adventure of this coastline is one that I’ve experienced before, and I have a sense that I’ll be returning to it soon enough. Just for now, though, I’m grateful for a moment in the shade, away from the hectic wind and the glaring light—a time to be still and at peace. As I stand here, I notice that the view is spectacular, especially when framed by the still, quiet shade.

As I sit with this photo and ponder the nature and tempo of my own life at present, I hear God speak to me:

“Come into the shade and rest with me. Let the adventure of each day be perfectly framed by my quiet, still and peaceful presence. The adventure will be exhausting, draining, if you don’t take time to breath with me. Don’t worry about missing anything; the adventure will still be there when you leave the shade. Come away, and be with me.”

soil

by hovering love

“Now you are ready to listen to the revelation of the parable of the sower and his seeds: . . .” Matthew 13:18 (TPT)

The parable of the sower recounts the tale of a farmer who goes out to sow seeds. As he sows, some of the seeds fall on the hard beaten path where the seeds can only lie on the surface waiting to be eaten by birds. Some seeds fall on gravel where the seeds sprout up quickly but wilt just as quickly when exposed to hot sun and no rain because they have no roots to sustain them. Some seeds fall among weeds where the seeds sprout but are overtaken and suffocated by the heartier weeds. And some seeds fall on good soil, soil that’s been carefully prepared, making it a receptive host for the seeds. These seeds sprout, grow, thrive and produce a harvest that exceeds the farmer’s wildest dreams.

Through the years, I’ve heard a variety of sermons preached on this parable and its intended meaning. I’ve listened as the four types of soil were related to the hearts and lives of four different types of people. Some people are hard beaten soil, some are gravel, some are filled with weeds and some are good soil. And there always seems to be exhortations for each kind of soil to make whatever changes are necessary for it to become the good type. But that hasn’t been my experience.

I have been all of these types of soil, and I have little doubt that I still am. This is my human reality: I can be each of these soils at different times and all of them simultaneously. I can be good soil regarding one aspect of my heart and being while being a hard beaten path regarding a different aspect of who I am and how I live. I can’t help but wonder how many seeds are continuously scattered upon me by the Holy Spirit that never even have a chance to germinate in my heart, let alone take root and produce a harvest? Far too many to count, I’m sure. Yet, the Holy Spirit keeps on sowing. I know this to be true; otherwise, there would be no evidence of any fruitfulness in my life at all. But I have experienced some pretty amazing fruit—harvests that have certainly exceeded my wildest dreams of what would happen or could even be possible.

Is there anything that I can do to prepare my own heart to be receptive to these seeds? I’ve heard all kinds of ideas on that subject, too. I have experienced only one thing that seems to make a real difference in the condition of my soil: humility. If I’m willing to be real with myself and with God, I’m much more likely to see change occur. Not that I’m capable of producing that change, but I am more changeable. After all, the soil is just the soil—not the farmer who prepares it, not the seed that sprouts and grows and produces fruit in it. I’m very grateful that the Holy Spirit continues to sow seeds upon me whether the soil of my heart is “good” or not.

Thank you, Father Son and Holy Spirit, for your mercy and grace. Thank you for continuing to prepare the soil of my heart, more and more, over time. Thank you for continuing to sow seeds within me whether I’m ready and willing to take them in or not. Thank you for producing your fruit within me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for loving me and working with me just as I am. I love you. All that I am is because of you.

Amen!

shine

by hovering love

“Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:15, 16 (The Message)

This passage of talk about being salt and light for the world has always elicited mixed emotions in me. For decades, I’ve heard far too many exhortations using this passage from the pulpit and fellow Christians to boldly evangelize everything and everyone around me, leaving me feeling like a second-rate Christian at best. This charge to be open with my life, generously sharing my life and being with others, goes against my personality and temperament. First of all, I am an introvert. My personality type is that of a 5 on the enneagram and an INFP on the Meyers Briggs scale (if that means anything to you). By nature, I am quiet, reserved, thoughtful, sensitive, deeply intuitive, intelligent, protective of my privacy and space, cautious and untrusting towards people that I don’t know but deeply engaging with people that I know and feel comfortable with. When I do interact with others, I prefer to do so in a one-on-one or small group manner, and I have little interest in superficial small talk. I accept and enjoy the way that God has made me, and I am content. However, being “salt and light for the world”, especially the kind that glows brightly from a hilltop that everyone near and far can easily see, does not come naturally to me! It feels frighteningly overwhelming! If I were asked to put myself out there in this manner for any other reason, my response would be a very quick “No, thank you!” But since this charge is for the sake of others, and is pleasing to God, it sounds a bit more appealing—still an unpleasant and stretching challenge for me, but more appealing all the same.

I appreciate how The Passion Translation puts this in terms of being the kind of salt and light that is beneficial to everyone in the house. The inside of my house is not glaring brightly on a hilltop for all to see, it’s much more intimate, personal and real—something that I feel much more comfortable with, even with strangers. As odd as it may sound considering how I’ve described myself, I am willing to share my life and being with others, even painful or humiliating truths and experiences, if I sense that it will benefit them in any way. All humans are unique, made with painstaking cleverness and creativity on God’s part. Therefore, all humans will respond to and obey God’s charges in ways that are unique to them—unique to the person that God created them to be. We all have our own unique ways of fulfilling the charge to “shine”.

As I sit quietly with this passage of Scripture, I hear God’s gentle invitation to me:

     “My child, trust me to place you where you will be of most benefit to yourself and others—both among those you see regularly and those who are strangers to you. Trust me to be involved in each and every interaction that you have. Know that no part of yourself that you share with others will ever be lost or shared in vain. I am not wasteful with your life, your love or your being. Remember, nothing is ever wasted with me. Be anxious for nothing. Come, and follow me.”    

plan

by hovering love

“He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter.  . . . ‘You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’” Mark 8:32,33 NIV

Poor Peter!  He responds to Jesus’ words as someone whose dearest loved one has just announced that they have been fatally diagnosed and only have weeks to live.  Denial, objection, determined to find a cure and fight to the bitter end—I can almost hear Peter say, “We can beat this! You must live!”  Peter is stunned but not stopped, determined to find the solution that will bring about what he desires most of all.  Peter is just as resolute in this moment (that Jesus should live and reign) as Jesus is (that he must die and be resurrected)—perhaps even more so. But Jesus won’t allow himself or his other disciples to be swayed by Peter’s temporal focus, and he sets the record straight.  How hard this must have been for all of them—a moment, a time and a truth that was drenched in deep, deep sorrow.

As I reflect on this story, I realize that Peter’s desire that Jesus live and reign was perfectly in line with God’s plan; however, his timing and manner of execution were all wrong. Just like Peter, we humans often have deep longings and desires that are perfectly in line with God’s plan for our lives and beings.  And just like Peter, our timing and manner of execution frequently involves avoiding the necessity of waiting and suffering and sacrifice—things that must be involved to make it all holy.  Peter wants the glory without the pain; he wants it to be easily acquired and he wants it now (for Jesus, himself and all the others).  But experiencing the process of being disentangled from this world so you can be fully invested in God’s kingdom takes time, and it involves suffering and the loss of personal sacrifice—letting go of the false before you can grab ahold of the true.  Peter is learning, though, as we all must—the hard way.  This hardship has its cost, but also its benefit.  Hope emerges as we embrace and endure the sufferings, losses and sacrifices along the way.  This is the means by which our hope is made true, pure and indestructible.

God bless Peter.  God bless us all.

Amen!

jersey

by hovering love

March Madness is winding to its conclusion and the baseball season has begun. Screens of all shapes and sizes are filled with images of athletes wearing team jerseys of all colors and styles. Stadiums, auditoriums, streets and bars are filled with folks wearing team jerseys, too—all cheering for and hoping to celebrate their favorite team, the team they’ve chosen to identify themselves with.

I recently attended a retreat and decided to spend a few extra moments of quiet reflection in the monastery sanctuary before heading home. As I gazed upon the image of Jesus above the altar area, the memory of all the different jerseys entered my mind. I was suddenly struck with the thought that I was on Jesus’ team. Having been a person who never played team sports in my youth (females born in the 1950’s had little to no opportunity for that kind of experience) and who was frequently picked last for any games in PE class that required a team, this was a rather exciting epiphany. “I may be getting old, but at least now I’m on a team,” the thought of which almost made me laugh out loud.

As I drove home, my mind was filled with the array of team jerseys that we can wear in life that have nothing to do with athletics or sports. We have metaphorical jerseys for family, friends, school, work, hometown, interests, preferences, opinions, ideologies, ethnicity, socio-economic status, education, etc. We Christians can also have our own “jerseys” for denominational affiliation, and even the individual church that we attend. These various jerseys can give us a sense of belonging, but they can also promote a feeling of exclusivity and division. I’ve attended various kinds of churches throughout the years. Maybe that’s why I’ve never felt the need to own or wear the kind of “jerseys” that Christians can wear. This led me to ponder what Jesus’ team jersey would look like. Unlike the jerseys for all the things mentioned above (including denomination and church), which are often available in only one color and a size that supposedly “fits all”, each Jesus jersey would be made with its unique wearer in mind. The garment would be sized to fit perfectly. It would be made of a richly textured cloth that keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter, and it would breathe and move with you without encumbering in any way. And the colors! Jesus’ team would have jerseys of every color, in every shade and hue that exists, made in the exact color that will enhance the original beauty of its wearer and render them radiantly gorgeous—just the kind of jersey that even I am enticed to wear.

What jersey are you wearing today?

 

 

 

geese

by hovering love

“Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you . . . I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time . . . All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world.” John 11:22, 24, 27 (The Message)

Martha has known and believed the truth about Jesus “all along”. She believes she’ll see her brother, Lazarus, again at the resurrection at the end of time (she’s obviously not a Sadducee). She also believes that God gives Jesus whatever he asks for. Lazarus has died and been in the tomb for 4 days. What hope is Martha harboring in her heart and soul? The yearning to have her brother alive again is powerfully strong, but would it ever occur to her to ask Jesus to restore Lazarus to life today—not just at the end of time? How far into the unimaginable does Martha’s knowledge and belief extend? Could she ever be bold enough to ask Jesus for such a thing to occur in the present moment?

I relate to Martha. Like her, I know and believe in Jesus as Messiah, Son of God. He is my Savior, Brother, Friend, and Shepherd. But how far into the unimaginable does my knowledge, belief and faith extend? Far too often, I feel that my knowledge, belief and faith are too limited by my earthly experiences of life and by my thoughts. Like most humans, my thoughts throughout the day frequently resemble a cocktail party of geese—honking loudly and persistently with little depth or any real thinking involved. With that kind of racket going on, how can anyone hope to think clearly and perceptively at all? I yearn to be set free from these limitations, but I also fear what I don’t know and have never personally experienced. How can I escape the “geese” and enter into that place where real thinking occurs and true insight is perceived—my own heart and soul?

As I sit still, quieting my own heart and mind, I can perceive more than I could otherwise imagine. Is it possible that deep down within Martha’s heart and soul, she knows what she wants (Lazarus to arise from death now) and she knows and believes that Jesus can make it happen? That sounds like both insight and perception. But her conscious thinking (geese) can’t relate or even consider this due to the limited earthly experience that she’s had (she’s only been taught and believes that resurrection occurs in the end times). However, her heart and soul know the truth, even if her thoughts are lagging behind. Without her realizing it, her heart and soul speak the truth of her desire and beliefs without her conscious thoughts having a clue to the truth and reality that her heart and soul possess. Like all humans, Martha needs to trust and live from her heart and soul (that’s what makes her human) and not from her geese-like thoughts or limited ability to logically reason (that’s what makes her earthly, and influenced by Western philosophy). Just like Martha, so do I! Only then will I be set free from my limitations. Only then will I experience the fullness of life in Christ that both Jesus and I yearn for me to have, live and be.

Show me how this transformation works, Jesus. Please enable my heart and soul knowledge, faith and belief to be the reality of my daily life experience. Amen!

 

 

 

valentine

by hovering love

I grew up as the only child of a single mom when divorce was uncommon and shame was attached to being from a “broken home”. My parents were separated while my mom was pregnant with me, and their divorce became final when I was only months old. The divorce was final in every way—I was completely abandoned by my father and his entire family upon my birth. As my mom slowly obtained better jobs with slowly increasing pay, we moved a lot—on average once every two years—to better apartments, better neighborhoods, better schools. As a child growing up, “love” for me consisted of very simple things: my mom picking me up from daycare and taking me home at the end of a long day; my grandma loving and respecting me for who I was (NO shame) and caring for me as her own child when my mom needed a hand; my grandpa allowing me to wrestle the slightest of grins from his lips as a result of the most absurd antics on my part (he had a tender heart, but was outwardly rather stoic); and my beloved confidante and pet poodle, Crissie, letting me dress her in my Chatty Cathy clothes to play and licking my tears away when she was the only one who saw me cry.

Like everyone else, I grew up as best I could. Adolescence and adulthood brought a myriad of complexities, struggles, stresses, and expectations—from the world around me, from loved ones and friends, and from myself. I had thought that when I grew up I would have all the answers and know which way to go, but I found out just how little I knew and how directionless I could be. Life and love didn’t seem so simple any more. Fortunately, that wasn’t to be the final trajectory of my life. Someone who had been watching over me as I progressed from birth (and even before then) made himself known to me: God. Hesitantly and warily at first, I slowly found myself grabbing for every bit of life and love, knowledge and understanding, direction and peace that God had to offer to me. Our journey together began 49 years ago, and I have experienced much in that time. I have wandered near and far, passing through many and varied stages, phases and developmental changes. Though I can easily become flustered and frustrated with life and myself on planet earth, I have come to accept the fact that I know very little and often have no idea of where I’m going next. It is a conundrum to me, but I have learned to be at peace with this truth and my reality.

From time to time, I feel unsettled, tired and confused—I sense that God is trying to teach me something that I can’t yet see or hear or perceive or understand or live. I want to know and live the truth—about God, about myself, about others, about life, about love. I desire the freedom to be all that God created me to be, and desires for me. I long for that which outwardly appears complex, but inwardly is really rather simple. That’s when God reminds me that his love and longing for me is strong, powerful, unbeatable and unending. He never has and never will leave me alone. He is completely and absolutely trustworthy. He watches me proudly as I continue to embrace all that I do know, perceive, understand and live regarding God and his kingdom ways. And he is always there to help me as I wait attentively and anticipate expectantly what he will reveal to me, and how he will direct me in all the days that I have yet to come.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Father God, Son Jesus, and Holy Spirit!

You are worthy of my love, and you have it. Your love for me is REAL!

simple

by hovering love

“But Mary quietly treasured these things in her heart and often thought about them.” Luke 2:19  (Living Bible)

What a year Mary has had: visited by an angel and told she’s going to have a baby, living with the gossip in her village regarding her “situation”, being forced to travel about 80 miles on foot/donkey (a 4 day journey) to register for a Roman census in Bethlehem, giving birth to her first child in a stable with only Joseph there to assist! No doubt, she was exhausted. She must have felt spent in every way. I imagine her with Joseph in a town where they and their “situation” are not known, finding peace in their anonymity away from the people in town, relief in a healthy childbirth and wonder-filled joy in Mary’s newborn son. All too soon, they’re burst in upon by an exuberant group of shepherds with a remarkable tale of angels and the glory of God, revealing a secret that had been shared by Joseph and Mary alone to all who will listen. Mary knew what it was like to be visited by an angel, and she instantly knew in her heart that the tale of the shepherds was true. Mary’s secret is now revealed, but in a way that redeems her reputation and restores her soul—if not in Nazareth, at least in Bethlehem. What a kind and timely Christmas gift for this new mother! No small wonder that she is treasuring it all up deep within her heart!

God sends one angel to deliver the message to Mary and the shepherds, but then accentuates the breadth of this event with a full army of angels that sing of God’s glory and grace. Amazing! God shares his secret plans with a simple young woman and he proclaims its fulfillment through a group of simple shepherds. I can’t help but wonder why did the angels appear to the shepherds and not to heads of state, or at least the local rabbi? As I ponder this question, I hear the following:

“My child, my glory is most profound and powerful when it is housed and professed by that which is small and simple, unimpressive and unpretentious. This is where my glory shines the brightest and my joy is most complete. Be just and only who you are—my precious, chosen child—today and every day. This is how my glory will be most profoundly and powerfully seen in and professed through you.“

Amen!

yes

by hovering love

“Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.” Luke 1:30 (TNIV)

“Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.” Luke 1:38 (The Message)

Understandably, Mary is shaken by what’s happening to her: being visited by an angel, being told she’ll conceive a baby via the Holy Spirit, and give birth to God’s son. Remarkable! Extraordinary! This is way too much for any mere mortal to take in; yet, the angel provides Mary with just enough information to enable Mary to “see” what she needs to see in order for her to make the choice to agree with God and surrender herself to God’s plan—for herself, and the world. Of course, she “sees” so little at this point—hardly anything compared with all that she can’t see yet. But she sees enough, and acts upon what she does see. Overwhelmed as she must be by her circumstances, Mary does not give in to her fears. Her response to the angel, and to God, is “Yes.” I’m delighted and amazed by Mary’s simple, childlike faith in God. I’m a bit amused by her naivety, imagining that she sees it all. I’m also filled with wonder and awe of God’s tender love for the young woman that he has chosen to be his mother!

Though Mary’s and my circumstances are so very different, there is one way in which we (and all of humanity) are very similar. There is so little that we humans do see, so little that we do know; yet, God always gives us just enough insight to act upon. That kind of situation seems scary, but God tells us not to fear. God’s tender love for us all is sure and unchanging, and his word to us never fails. I hear his words to me now:

“Hold firmly, tightly, onto what child-like faith that you have. Just as I chose Mary to be my mother, I have chosen you to be my sister, friend and full-time companion. Say “Yes” to me unreservedly and I will birth myself within you—freeing you to be your true self and empowering you to be my partner for life, eternally loving and being loved by Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I have chosen to live and love in and through you! Say, “Yes”!

Father, Son and Holy Spirit, may it be to me according to your word! Amen!