Tag: church

still

by hovering love

I was recently having lunch with a friend who asked me, “How did you acquire the peace that you have? What book did you read? What spiritual discipline did you practice?” My immediate thought was, “Wow! That’s a very good question!” After several minutes of reflection, an answer entered my thoughts.

How does one acquire peace? The answer is quite simple. First, you sit quiet and still, doing nothing, for a long enough period of time that you finally begin to hear what God is saying to you about you. Then, you continue to sit quiet and still as you slowly unpack and process what God is saying to you about you. This is followed by more sitting quiet and still as you wrestle and come to terms with what God is saying to you about you. At this point, you sit quiet and still as you slowly detach from and let go of all that God is saying to you about you. More sitting quiet and still occurs as you embrace and develop an acceptance of this entire process. And then one day as you are sitting quiet and still, you begin to recognize that something is different about you (don’t be surprised if this new awareness results from having someone share that you seem different to them); that you possess a sense of peace that you’ve never had before. You can’t seem to remember how many years have passed as you sat quiet and still, doing nothing, but you are grateful for these many years just the same because of how they have developed and deepened your heart and soul. You are keenly aware that what you have “done” (as you sat quiet and still, doing nothing) has been rather hard work. Indeed, it is a Herculean task for humans to sit quiet and still, doing nothing, as they listen and unpack and process and wrestle and come to terms with and detach from and let go of and embrace and accept. This gift of peace that God has graciously and generously given to you (for it truly is a gift) has been very “hard-earned” for you. It is, in fact, the hardest-earned gift that you will ever be given and receive. In addition to giving you peace, it will also fill your mind, heart, body and soul with a deep life and love and joy. And then what do you do? You sit quiet and still, listening to hear what God is saying to you about how he wants you to express and demonstrate your gift of peace with everyone who comes across your path today . . . and everyday.

quibble

by hovering love

“They were surprised and impressed—his teaching was so forthright, so confident, so authoritative, not the quibbling and quoting they were used to.”  Luke 4:32 (Message)

Quibble is rather a fun-sounding word, even if its meaning isn’t.  If all the other religious teachers in Jesus’ time “quibbled”—arguing, complaining, nitpicking over unimportant details, quoting other “authorities” to support their own points and ideas (I think today we might call that “name dropping”)—then Jesus’ approach of authenticity (speaking from what he knows to be true in his life and being) would be very refreshing indeed!  What a pleasant relief it must have been to hear Jesus teach!

Since not quibbling worked so well for Jesus, I can’t help but wonder why so many Christians today engage in it?  Nitpicking over nonessential doctrines and unimportant details only leads to division and disunity.  Arguing and complaining are simply symptoms of ego and pride, not humble self-sacrifice.  Validating your words by quoting popular or well-promoted Christian pastors and/or authors is frequently done to impress, and reveals a lack of true ownership for your own spirituality.  These words of mine may sound harsh, but are they untrue?      

Jesus knew who he was and how he was called by God.  He intentionally lived into his identity and his calling, trusting in the guidance and support that he received from the Father and the Holy Spirit.  Jesus possessed authority that had been given to him by his Father.  In addition, his authenticity regarding his true being and how he lived that out in his daily life naturally lended even more authority to his actions and teachings.  As Jesus’ followers, we have all received our own unique identity and calling from the Father.  The question is, are we choosing to waste precious time and energy quibbling or are we trusting our identity and calling in Christ and intentionally living into it?  As I ponder this question for myself, I hear Jesus say the following to me:     

“My sister and friend, I have planted my truth within you and it has grown.  There is more for you to learn, but you can be confident and authentic regarding what you have already received from me.  Your authenticity is your authority!  Claim what you do know.  Boldly proclaim it with your words and through your actions.  I have placed my authority within you—share it with me as we use it to our Father’s glory.”

Do I hear an “Amen!”?

process

by hovering love

process: a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Faith is a process.

When life is going the way we desire, we can find ourselves basking in the illusion that our faith is solid and true. But what happens to our faith when harsh realities of life turn our basking into wailing and shatters our illusions all to hell? I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me I tend to get rather emotional. When a person professes to place their faith and trust in a God who is always good and gracious, what do we do with our emotions at a time like that?

How do I react when I’m feeling confused and disappointed by God? Anger is a natural first reaction in times of disappointment, confusion, frustration or loss. My second emotion speaks up very quickly and often accompanies the anger—hurt. As old as I am (and I’m certainly old enough, indeed), I am still caught off guard by the things in life that elicit a reaction of anger and hurt. This pair of emotions expresses itself in the form of whining, complaining and self-justification, none of which help me (or anyone else!) in any way. It’s usually a bit of time before I get around to acknowledging that God’s ways aren’t my ways, nor are his desires and plans likely to always match up with mine (if ever). An even longer amount of time passes before I’m willing to accept and trust that God’s ways are good—even though I can’t see any of God’s good in my present situation at that moment.   Slowly, humble acceptance and contentment come as gifts as I wait to see what God is doing/will do. Humble because I come to terms with the fact that I’m not God, and I see and know very little (if anything at all). Anger is no match for humility; it cannot remain strong in the presence of a truly humbled heart. Gradually, even the hurt within me begins to diminish and heal, being transformed into contentment. Only then am I truly willing to wait—upon God’s timing, and God’s gracious plan for all involved. I guess this process is necessary to enable me to let go of whatever attachments caused me to feel confused, disappointed, angry and hurt in the first place.

Faith is a process, a never-ending process.

nothing

by hovering love

“So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and putting their faith in him.” John 12:10, 11

Even though the Jewish leadership is plotting a double murder scenario (Jesus and Lazarus), their evil intent can’t stop or even dampen the overwhelming sense of awe, wonder and joy that surrounds Lazarus’ resurrection and Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. If there wasn’t so much joy and praise of God being expressed, this scene might resemble an out-of-control mob—but the praise and joy do prevail and energize this celebration.

My attention today turns to Lazarus. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed before that this large crowd formed for the purpose of seeing Lazarus, as well as Jesus. How humbling and exciting for him to be such a key player in this scene. Exciting because he gets to “share the stage” with someone that he worships and adores. Humbling because the reason for his being on that “stage” has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him! After all, the only thing that Lazarus did to bring himself to such prominence was to die and be buried for 4 days. Lazarus expended no energy at all. Jesus did all the rest, without the slightest response or cooperation on Lazarus’ part.

Sweet Lazarus! As I ponder this truth about his experience, I am reminded that the same is true of my life and being as well. Without me ever thinking a thought, feeling an emotion, speaking a word, performing an action or even being deliberate about an intention, God gives me the gift of being his daughter, and heavenly life to experience being a daughter of God in and through (even while I remain on earth)! I do nothing; indeed, there is nothing that I am capable of doing to bring this about or sustain and maintain it. It is truly all God’s doing.

Thank you, God, for your many gifts and graces to me. Just like Lazarus, may the life you give to me be attractive to others, causing them to draw near to you with open curiosity, joyous celebration, humble gratitude and heartfelt praise.

stretch

by hovering love

“He said this to stretch Phillip’s faith.” John 6:6 (The Message)

Jesus asks Phillip a question merely to get Phillip to think, to ponder from a faith perspective. His question is rhetorical, and its purpose is to stretch Phillip’s faith. Phillip doesn’t perceive the question as being rhetorical; he takes it quite literally and physically (after all, they are surrounded by hungry people). In response, he doesn’t stop to think or ponder or approach the question from a position of faith; he immediately moves into “fix it mode”, sees no available resources at hand and decides that a solution is impossible. It doesn’t appear that Phillip took the time or had the inclination to consider a response of faith at all. Perhaps that’s why Jesus was attempting to stretch it.

Andrew’s response to Jesus’ question is different. He listens to the question, looks around for what resources are available and he presents these small resources to Jesus, asking Jesus how these can help with such a large need. Andrew’s response is one of faith, though mixed with doubt. Like Phillip, Andrew is earthly and earthbound in his thinking and approach; he is looking for a result that will fix the problem, not a miracle that will demonstrate Jesus’ power and provision. To Andrew’s credit, he is more open to a faith response at this time than Phillip; he’s open to seeing what Jesus can do with the resources at hand—however small they may appear to be.

Both men are no doubt blown away by what Jesus does with practically nothing. Where Phillip saw only impossibility, Andrew saw an improbability, but was open to possibility. One’s mind was closed and limited; the other’s was open and limitless.

How often do I respond to Jesus’ “stretches” as Phillip did, looking only at what mankind has to offer and seeing it as inadequate, impossible? If it appears impossible (or I’ve decided that it is), then the human tendency is to give up, don’t waste anymore time trying—from an earthly perspective, it’s the only logical, reasonable, rational response. How often do I respond like Andrew, looking for what mankind has to offer and then placing it in Jesus’ hands to see what he’ll do with it? This option may appear highly improbable but it’s also open to whatever God may do, which encourages and produces hope, imagination and expectant anticipation.

My invitation from God is quite simply: “When I “stretch” you, take the time to wait—to ponder my question from a faith perspective, and to look for where I am and what I’m doing before you respond or react. This will enable you to be more open and available to the miraculous in everyday events. There is so much that I want to show you. Let me delight you with what I can do—this can only happen if you’re already open to it.”

choices

by hovering love

“This sorrow is crushing my life out.” Matthew 26:38 (The Message)

“There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.” Matthew 26:41 (The Message)

There are times in life when our sorrow does suck the life out of us. Deeply demanding choices are before us. We don’t want to face them; in truth, we often feel that we don’t have what is needed to face them.   However, reality teaches that escape is not an option—whether we are intentional about choosing or we force life to make choices for us by default (by doing nothing), life choices are made and life directions are taken. The question is, how will we face our choices and make the decisions that must be made?

Jesus had an excruciating decision before him. He was fully human; his life on earth was very demanding but also very rich in purpose and relationships. For three years he had enjoyed the companionship of people whom he loved dearly and invested in deeply. Now the time had come for him to leave them, first temporarily and then for a much longer time than they could ever imagine. Now he must choose whether to please himself and those he loved or God, the Father. His choice was devastatingly hard because the ramifications were very real—not just for himself and those close to him, but for many others throughout time, as well. His sorrow was so great that it drove him to his knees before God, pleading for other options and the ability to face what lay before him. Jesus, the man, needed help and the Holy Spirit was there, enabling him to move from the desire to please himself to an openness and acceptance of the truth and reality that the Father’s way was the best way (the only way) and that surrendering himself was the only true choice that he could make.

Jesus had to be moved from loving and obeying his own desires to loving and obeying the Father’s plan—for the sake of loving all creation throughout time. It was a choice of obedience, yes—he had to surrender to God, the Father’s way. But the motivation was not obedience—that was the action. The motivation was LOVE—love for the Father (with all his heart, soul, mind and strength) and love for all of mankind (loving his neighbor as himself; therefore, surrendering his life so all could live). The Trinity’s “bottom line” is always LOVE.

My own choices in life have not born the same ramifications as Jesus’, but many have been devastatingly sorrowful for me just the same. Avoiding the hard work and letting life make the choices for me can be very tempting, but it ultimately deepens my sorrow and takes me down paths where I don’t want to go. In my sorrow, I have also been driven to my knees before God, pleading for other options and for the courage and strength to face what lay before me. Each time, the Holy Spirit has gently but firmly brought me to the Father’s “bottom line”. Love is the motivation of heart that I must be open to and accepting of, that I must be willing to surrender to, if I am to make the only true choices that I can make. Life choices can be hard, but help is always available to those who ask for it.  I don’t want to face living with choices that are made apart from LOVE.

branches

by hovering love

Tree tops

moving to and fro together,

like laughing friends at a party or a bar . . . .

movement produced by the passing winds.

 

Tree tops

a community of branches laughing in the breeze;

sometimes chuckling,

sometimes a huge guffaw . . . .

moving together in all forms in between.

 

“You are a branch and I am The Vine;

           come,

                      laugh,

                                  move and live with Me!

                                                                      All My branches . . . . Come!!”

 

Sometimes the wind is so strong that the branches break;

they laughingly move and sway no longer, now they hang . . . . limp.

We don’t know why the wind does that; we only know that it does.

But brokenness doesn’t always bring death;

new leaves form,

even on broken ends.

Life and laughter begins again.

 

I have felt so broken, in so very many ways.

Show me the new leaves You are forming within me.

Cause them to grow,

and to move,

and to laugh,

and to live . . . . with You.

empathy

by hovering love

“he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place” (Matthew 14:13)

“he had compassion on them and healed their sick” (Matthew 14:14)

Jesus had just heard the news of John the Baptist’s death, of how he was beheaded by King Herod and his head was then presented to Herod’s niece/step-daughter during the course of a wild dinner party—all done simply to enable Herod to save face before his guests. Jesus was deep in grief over the tragic and very traumatic loss of John, his relative and ministry fore-runner, and he desperately desired to spend some time alone, quietly embracing and processing his grief. But crowds of people observed his departure and followed him on foot, meeting him when his boat came ashore in a remote part of the coastline. Jesus saw the crowd of people approaching and he realized that his plan to care for himself and his grief was not going to happen, at least not at that time. His response to this situation is both stunning and awe-inspiring to me. I might have felt angry and put out, overwhelmed and empty of anything good worth giving to others in need. “How can I be expected or even asked to take care of others and their needs when all I want to do is curl up in the fetal position and lick my own wounds? It’s just too much!” might have been foremost in my thoughts at that moment. Not Jesus; he saw them coming and he “had compassion on them and healed their sick”. Some might make the excuse that Jesus was able to respond this way because he was God, possessing super-natural abilities beyond the tendencies and capabilities of humanity, but I don’t think that’s the case. “How could Jesus respond with such selflessness?” is a good question, one worth looking inside of my own heart and soul for the answer.

I believe that Jesus’ compassion for the loss and pain of others and his willingness to care for their needs came out of the depths of his own personal, present loss and pain. The source of his compassion was not their needs, but the very depth of his own need for soul care and healing. Jesus demonstrates much more than compassion. His suffering related to the reality and experience of their suffering—person to person—and the result was human empathy in action. Empathy inspired and motivated Jesus to minister to their needs; he didn’t just sympathize with their pain, he felt it as well and his heart went out to them. Jesus’ own need for care held great value—it made him truly empathetic towards the need for care in others.

What value does the pain, loss, suffering and grief that we all experience in life have? These experiences can burden our spirit and souls to the point of bitterness, despair and death if not expressed and shared with others who can extend the grace and care needed to see us through to a better end. Suffering has value and the power to produce goodness within us, if we let it. It can make us more forgiving, caring, kind, understanding, gracious, humble and brave—both for ourselves and others. It can make us more human in the very best sense and demonstration of the word.

I sense an invitation from Jesus in this story: “Don’t deny or hide from suffering, let it do its work and allow that work to be good, for your own benefit and for the benefit of others that I will lead along your path.” As I have opened up my suffering to God and the gentle care of the Holy Spirit, I have found there is always a reason and purpose in my experiences of suffering. When I have suffered, God has often led another person along my path later on who was suffering as well. The care that I received from God in my suffering could then be expressed through me to the other in need of similar care. My desire is to let suffering perform its good work within me so I’ll be open and prepared to allow God to care for others through me when the opportunity presents itself. No gift, blessing or suffering in life is for me alone—all is given and received for the purpose of being shared with others, as well. That’s what it means to be truly human.

coffee

by hovering love

“You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world.” (John 8:23)

To use a metaphor, the Bible is like a beautiful letter sent by God to introduce himself and to develop a relationship with all of mankind. Repeatedly expressed within the words of this letter is the following message, “By the way, I’m at the corner coffee shop each day from 6:00am to 10:00pm. I’d love to share some conversation and/or amiable silence with you anytime throughout the day. I have special insights for you about your experience of this day and how I want to share in each moment of it with you. I would be so pleased if you spend some time with me.”

Jesus, himself, spent much time in quiet conversation alone with his Father. Even though Jesus knew the “letter” by heart, he also knew that he needed to listen to what the Father had to say to him each day, moment by moment. Jesus knew that he could not live through each day in a way that would please his Father without being fully aware and attentive to his Father’s voice throughout the day. If this is true for Jesus, how can it not also be true for Jesus’ followers? Sadly enough, this isn’t often the practice of those who claim to follow Jesus. Many Christians (myself included) focus our attention and motivations in life upon the Bible’s words alone without ever going to the coffee shop to actually meet with the Author in person and spend time in quiet, intimate dialogue with him. We work hard to familiarize ourselves with these words, scrutinizing and memorizing their locations and definitive interpretations, without allowing ourselves to become equally familiar and intimate with the One who sent these words to us in the first place.

Jesus is coming from a completely different place than I do: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I am earthly and earthbound; Jesus’ living experience and perspective are far beyond my horizons. I long to know and experience Jesus’ life and perspective but my horizons are too low and small. I fear what is beyond my very limited and limiting horizons, but if that’s where Jesus lives and is taking me, then I want to go. Reading and treasuring the words of the “letter” are helpful, but I can’t share in Jesus’ life and experience if I don’t share in his practice of listening for the Father’s voice and direction each moment of each day.

So how will I go through my day today? Will I just “read the letter”, or will I intentionally meet with him for coffee and personal, intimate interaction throughout the day? How mindful and aware will I be of God’s presence with me today? Will I even hear him as he shares his loving insights and desires for me today? Will I take the time to please God by being attentive to his voice in my ear today?

I have a sense that Jesus is speaking to me now. He’s saying, “Don’t let my letter replace me as God. Respect and honor my letter, but follow me! I am the way, the truth and the life – not my letter!”

blendering

by hovering love

Psalms 34:8  “Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.” (The Message)

I was chatting with a friend one morning and we came up with the idea that life is something that we “blender through”. Let me explain. Life is always throwing something new into the mix, kind of like a person who likes to indiscriminately experiment with their morning smoothie. For example, when you finally get to go on a long-awaited special vacation and while you’re there your body seems intent upon developing a sinus infection.

By the way, I like to try new things but I’m not an indiscriminate experimenter – I have a fondness for knowing that what comes out of the blender in the end will not only be edible, it will actually be tasty and definitely NOT disgustingly foul. I also don’t want anyone to throw anything into the blender without my foreknowledge and approval, only to find out later that something new has been added to the mix but I don’t know what it is. That kind of “not knowing” can be very irritating where smoothies are concerned and highly anxiety producing in other more important areas of life. However, this is what life does to us on an uncomfortably regular basis. And the best that we can do is “blender through”. But what does that look like when you’re on vacation and fighting off a sinus infection instead of having a good time?

Fortunately for me, another friend had given me some of her peppermint oil beadlets, which I had absent-mindedly stashed in my purse. She had said they were great for sinus problems and anti-bacterial in nature, so I decided to give them a try. Not only did they help to keep my sinuses clear, they also did a good job of fighting off the bacteria that was copulating madly in an effort to make me really sick. I’m not sure how many months the beadlets had been sitting in my purse, unused and forgotten. I’m just thankful they were there when I finally remembered them and was desperate enough to take the risk to give them a try. I became aware of the value of my friend’s thoughtful and generous gift, which was greatly appreciated, and I experienced her loving gesture just when I needed it most.

In addition, the fact that my body was fighting off this illness drove home the point that I was on vacation for a reason: to vacate my everyday life, relax, get some good rest and slow my pace to an amiable stroll. Because of and in spite of my illness, I had a great vacation that I thoroughly enjoyed!

Oddly enough and here again, my unwanted illness and my friend’s caring gift were two more examples of how Love hovers over my soul. Awareness of this truth can be difficult at times, especially when the swirl of the “blender” is fast and loud. But this awareness is possible if I’m paying attention and I’m willing to taste it and see it for what it is.