Tag: lectio divina

scattering

by hovering love

“As he was scattering the seed, . . . “   Mt. 13:4 (NIV)

“ . . . what was sown in their heart.”  Mt. 13:19 (NIV)

Jesus tells a parable about a farmer who scatters seeds.  As I listen, I’m perturbed by how haphazard it sounds:  scattering seed in such a careless manner that it goes all over the place – in the road, in the gravel, in the weeds, and then finally in the plowed soil where I would expect that it’s intended to be.  This approach seems so foolish to me.  And yet, this is how Jesus appears to perform his work, scattering his stories to every person in every place in such a relaxed manner that it appears haphazard to my earthly eye.  However, his modus operandi seems to accomplish what Jesus intends from it.  Perhaps his relaxed, careless style attracted exactly the people that he wanted to reach.  But to my earthly thinking, I can’t help but doubt the efficiency of such an approach.

As I ponder this further, I suppose that the movement of the Holy Spirit will appear to be careless or haphazard as it comes and goes, as well.  Its movement is so subtle that it seems to be inefficient:  what if it’s so subtle that no one even notices?  Will there be any response at all? And yet, the Holy Spirit does the work that’s been assigned by the Father, whether we humans notice and respond or not.  Again, this M.O. seems so careless and inefficient to me.  I find myself wondering just how alert to and aware of the slightest movement of the Holy Spirit am I?  As I ponder this, I hear God say: 

      “Always be alert to my movement – especially in places and at times that would seem to be the very last place and time that you’d expect me to be.”

I’m chagrined to admit that this probably applies to seed that ends up on the road, in the gravel and in the weeds.  God’s kingdom (and M.O.) are such a mystery to me.  It’s so foreign to my earthbound perspective and expectation!  On earth, so much of life is ruled by a fear of scarcity:  seeds are precious, the provision for our life, and they must not be handled carelessly or wasted.  God’s kingdom always seems to be upside down and, in every manner, sideways to me.

“Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely.  But if there is no readiness, any trace of receptivity soon disappears.  That’s why I tell stories:  to create readiness, to nudge the people toward receptive insight.”  Mt. 13:12 (The Message)

As this Scripture passage continues, Jesus explains the meaning of this parable to his disciples.  As I read on, something begins to click within me.  It’s all about the heart!  What remains on the surface only (the road) doesn’t enter the heart.  What is only a show of emotion (the gravel) doesn’t enter the heart.  Even when seed enters the heart, but the heart is then strangled (the weeds), there’s nothing good to show for it.  But when the seed enters the heart unaccompanied by any form of hinderance (good soil), an amount of fruit develops from that heart that goes beyond anyone’s wildest dreams.  It’s all about the heart!  I can imagine Jesus is chuckling as I hear him say:

      “When I scatter seeds, I’m not being haphazard, inefficient or foolish – I’m being generous.  My generosity demonstrates my love and grace by enabling all kinds and conditions of hearts to receive what they are able to receive.  Granted, some of the love and grace that I sow may appear to be wasted to earthly eyes, but I’m willing to take that risk if it means that some of the seed might actually work its way down into the heart. Besides, I possess a never-ending supply of these seeds.  Remember that!”

Thank you, Jesus, for your generosity.  Please help me to have an open, teachable and humble heart before you so your seeds of love and grace can produce an amount of fruit within my heart and through my life that goes far beyond my wildest dreams.  Amen!

twisted

by hovering love

“They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him.” Mark 15:17 (NIV)

“A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross.”  Mark 15:21 (NIV)

Simon is carrying the cross for Jesus, and Jesus will carry Simon’s sins while on that cross.  I’m struck by the beauty, cruel as it is, of the symbiosis between Simon and Jesus in this scene.  Swirling, tornadic beauty that both men are now swept up together in — even “twisted together” in as the crown of thorns was twisted together, but this twisting together is not one of mockery but of shared life and love.  I feel inspired by this beauty, this life and love.  I am in awe.

Thank you, Holy Father, for your beauty and love — for the many ways that you take the worst of humanity and turn it into the very best.  Only you can do that.  I am amazed by you, in awe of you and thankful for how you reveal yourself to me when I need it most.  I’m so grateful that you are good to me and to all that you’ve created.

Amen!

enough

by hovering love

“Jesus said, ‘For a brief time still, the light is among you.  Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn’t destroy you.  If you walk in darkness, you don’t know where you’re going.’”  John 12:35 (The Message)

I am drawn to the phrase “Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn’t destroy you.”  (My own italics added)  It seems filled with deeper insights for me; truths that I have experienced along the way.  This is truth:  God gives me enough “light” to see and walk by each day, but sometimes it’s not enough to satisfy my desire or make me feel comfortable or secure.  God won’t always give me the amount of light (insight and/or understanding) that my ego desires.  I may long for more light than what I possess, but I don’t actually need more to walk by faith.  Having the amount of light I want often tempts me to feel safe and secure in what I know — not in who I know (God).  Insisting, or obsessing, upon obtaining more light than what I have can easily lead me down an even darker path, destroying what tenuous amount of inner peace I do possess.  If I chose to fully appreciate and embrace the light that God provides, believing it to be more than enough (even though I feel inadequate with it), then the darkness won’t be able to destroy my faith or inner peace.  I can continue to trust in God, even when I feel lost, perplexed, abandoned or devastated by my circumstances.  When I am in a dark place (you’ll notice that I said “when”, not “if”), I can trust God to provide the light that I actually need not only to survive, but to thrive as well.  

Thank you, Father, for light in dark places that is enough.

Amen! 

testing

by hovering love

“Afterward, the Holy Spirit led Jesus into the lonely wilderness in order to reveal his strength against the accuser by going through the ordeal of testing.”  Matthew 4:1 (TPT)

Jesus had just spent 40 days in a desert wilderness where he’d experienced total isolation from all human interaction, food, water, creature comforts, safety, etc.  It’s not surprising when Scripture says that at the end of this time, Jesus was extremely hungry.  And if that wasn’t horrible enough, this isolation (and deprivation) was followed by Satan’s attempts to manipulate and use Jesus for his own purposes and pleasures.  He swooped in during Jesus’ vulnerable condition with three “offers” that both questioned Jesus’ identity and his ability to live up to his identity.  As he goaded Jesus towards falling into his traps, Satan’s disrespect and loathing for Jesus were apparent.  However, Jesus didn’t succumb to the goading.  He turned Satan’s yearning attempts for power into a demonstration of his own real power.  I can only imagine how jealous Satan must have felt, as well as, humiliated and furious!

My question in all of this is, “Why?”  Why was it necessary for Jesus to experience these traumas in the first place, let alone for what must have felt like an unending amount of time.  I find the answer in The Passion Translation of the above verse: “in order to reveal his strength against the accuser”.  The purpose of this testing was to reveal to Jesus the power that already dwelt within him; what it was, how it felt, and how to draw upon and use it properly and appropriately at all times.  Jesus needed to know these things before he could really begin to do the work that he’d been sent to do.  This horrible test was not only a preparation, but also a purification for his role as Messiah.  We’ve all heard that absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the man Jesus could have fallen prey to this truth just the same as the rest of us.  I have no doubt that Jesus could have zapped Satan right then and there; he may have even done so had Satan accosted him prior to experiencing this test.  Satan was (and still is) a master manipulator, and Jesus needed the knowledge and confidence that this experience would provide — knowledge and confidence in his ability to beat Satan at his games while always remaining true to himself, to his nature and to his desired purposes.  He had to know how to wield power with love.

This kind of testing is common to all of humanity.  I’ve experienced many tests of this kind — hard, dark times that felt as if they would never end.  As I look back over these times now, I can see that the answer to my question of “Why?” is no different.  Each experience has revealed more of my true nature to me, and shown me the real choices that I have before me.  I’ve been given the opportunity to observe and acknowledge the pitfalls of my faults (and neuroses) and to explore new ways of thinking, feeling, and responding to the life that I was living.  I’ve been given the time to see what needs to change in order for me to have the new life that I long to live.  I’ve also had my strengths and inward beauty revealed to me as things that I can draw upon and use to serve myself and others well.  It truly sucks that this kind of growth and refinement only seem to come as a result of leaning into and embracing times of isolation, deprivation and pain, but that does seem to be the case.  These horrible tests have always had a purpose that is good, for myself and for everyone around me, because they have moved me closer and closer to the purest form of my true self — the only self that can glorify God.

Perhaps our current pandemic situation finds you experiencing a similar time of testing.  It has been so for me.  As I continue to wait for the pandemic to end, I hear God say to me:  “Welcome this test and take it seriously.  Much change for the good can come from it, for you and for all of humanity.  Embrace this test as a friend, and trust me to bring you one step closer to all that you are meant to be in my love.”

Amen!      

dimensions

by hovering love

“Then Jesus looked him in the eyes and said, ‘Go back home now.  I promise you, your son will live and not die.’  The man believed in his heart the words of Jesus and set off for home.”  John 4:50 (TPT)

A frantic father asks Jesus to heal his dying son.  Jesus puts him off with, “Unless you people are dazzled by a miracle, you refuse to believe.” (John 4:48)  That sounds like an incredibly harsh response to me.  Was this father truly wanting only to be titillated by a fantastic miracle, or was he desperately wanting to save his son’s life?  As a parent, I’m guessing the latter to be true.  Why would it be wrong for the father to come to Jesus for help?  I confess that I find Jesus’ initial response to be frustrating, but his second response gives the father an opportunity to reveal what faith he does or does not possess.  When Jesus assures the father that his son will live, the father chooses to take Jesus at his word and believe it.  Then he acts upon what he believes by heading home without seeing any proof that what Jesus has said is true.  To the father’s delight, he is met along the road by one of his servants telling him that his son’s illness broke the day before at the very hour that Jesus said that he would live.  Unbounded relief and joy at his son’s return to health aside, this father must also have felt the sense of satisfaction that comes from proving your faith:  to Jesus, to yourself, and to others.  This story ends by telling us that the father’s entire household also believed in Jesus as a result of the father’s retelling of his own faith journey the day before.

Sometimes we believe within our mind, but it hasn’t yet worked its way down into our heart.  Perhaps that was the case with this father – when he approached Jesus with his request, he believed in his mind that Jesus could heal his son.  Jesus’ first response may have been meant to take this man even deeper in the belief that he already possessed.  It must have worked because after looking in Jesus’ eyes and hearing Jesus’ words of assurance, the father believed in his heart as well as in his mind.  As a result, many miracles occurred that day:  the healing of the son, the deepening of the father’s faith, and the beginning of each member of his household’s believing faith in Jesus.  No wonder the father was overjoyed!

There are so many levels, so many dimensions to our faith, our life and our being.  Miracles are never one-dimensional; they are always multi-dimensional.  Don’t just look for one miracle, look for and expect multiple miracles within what appears to be just one.

I hear God say to me, “I, the LORD, am multi-dimensional, and I work in ALL dimensions at once!”

Amen!

 

 

defense

by hovering love

“I can’t do a solitary thing on my own: I listen, then I decide.  You can trust my decision because I’m not out to get my own way but only to carry out orders.” John 5:30 (The Message)

“But my purpose is not to get your vote, and not to appeal to mere human testimony.  I’m speaking to you this way so that you will be saved.” John 5:34 (The Message)

 

The religious leaders are hounding Jesus again for proof of his credentials or authority to do the things that he’s doing.  In this passage, Jesus responds with a defense of himself (John 5:17).  I’m struck by the fact that Jesus defends himself in this situation and chooses not to defend himself later at the time of his death.  I can see from Jesus’ example that there is a time to defend yourself, and there is a time to stand silent before your accusers – but what criteria distinguishes the one time from the other?  Where does this defense come from within Jesus’ heart?  What is his inner motivation?

At this specific moment in time, Jesus is defending himself in this way so that his listeners will be saved.  His defense offers them information that is meant to enable them to believe who he is and find life in him.  How often do I defend myself for the purpose of “saving others”?  The honest answer to that question is: “NEVER”.  Defensiveness is usually a behavior that has a negative connotation – and for very good reason.  But Jesus’ “defensiveness” cannot be described as being negative; it’s actually quite selfless in nature and in purpose.  His defensiveness comes from a heart of love and concern for others.  My defensiveness is always selfish, self-serving and self-preserving.  I find Jesus’ brand of defensiveness to be very impressive, indeed!

As I sit with these insights a while, I hear God instruct me regarding the criteria that I am to follow:  if I sense that God is leading me to open my mouth and speak in my own defense, then I can trust God to give me the correct words that will enhance the life of my listener; but if, however, my defense will not benefit others in any way, then I need to keep my mouth shut and leave my defense in the capable hands of God.  How else can I follow Jesus’ example?  It’s as simple as that.

light

by hovering love

“ . . . No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness.  I provide plenty of light to live in.” John 8:12 (The Message)

“You decide according to what you can see and touch.  I don’t make judgments like that.”  John 8:15 (The Message)

 

I have certainly spent a fair amount of my life in some rather dark places—places where I felt or perceived absolutely no light at all.  And yet, I’m still here today following Jesus.  Amazing!  Jesus’ sight and judgment are “other worldly”.  I cannot perceive or understand them on my own.  Jesus graciously takes me by the hand and guides me through dark places—places where I can see and sense nothing, not even Jesus at times—towards the place where I can perceive His light again.  I don’t know why He’s chosen to do this for me, why His love and care for me are so great, but I am deeply grateful and thankful for it!

As I listen for God’s voice, in the current place of darkness that I find myself walking through, I hear Jesus say to me:

“I am providing plenty of light for you to walk with me through this difficult time.  Trust me, by holding tightly onto me, and I will guide you through to the light you seek.”

Thank you, Jesus, for your light, love and care.  Amen!

miracle

by hovering love

“But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”  John 11:22 (NIV)

Martha is speaking to Jesus. She and her sister, Mary, have just lost their brother, Lazarus, who died four days earlier.  The unmarried sisters lived with their brother, and they all shared an intimate friendship with Jesus.  It appears that Martha has long filled the “mother” role: anticipating and perceiving needs, reviewing available resources, discerning what else must be acquired, completing tasks and getting the job done.  Perhaps Martha is doing that now regarding her and her sister’s future. These sisters live in a time and place where women are poorly valued; without an adult male to be aligned with, they are at the mercy of those who might be convinced to care and completely vulnerable to anyone who wants to take advantage of them.  Living with their brother provided Martha and Mary with the status, respect and protection they needed to survive, and now he is gone. Martha has always believed that Jesus is the long-awaited Messiah, the Son of God . . . but now?  In her loss and grief, when all status, provision and protection have been stripped from her and her sister, even now she knows that God will give Jesus whatever he asks for.  She is trusting and expecting that her dear friend and Messiah, Jesus, will ask God to provide for her needs, today and always.  An old word, not much heard today, comes to mind: stalwart.  Martha’s faith in Jesus is stalwart, impressively so.  She is believing in Jesus for a miracle!  Martha listens as Jesus begins to speak of resurrection, fully believing that Lazarus will be resurrected at the end of time.  She doesn’t begin to imagine that Lazarus will be resurrected before the end; being a human creature of earth, why would she? But she does have a miracle in mind. Perhaps, after so many years of being single, God will now provide good husbands for Martha and Mary; after all, alignment with a good man is what they have both lost and what they could both use now.  Is marriage the miracle that she is expecting?  Jesus tells her that he is resurrection and life now, and he asks her, “Do you believe this?”  Martha responds to Jesus’ question in the affirmative, and then she runs to tell Mary that Jesus is here and asking for her.

I am so impressed with Martha.  She is a person who knows how to get the job done, yet she doesn’t rely upon herself to provide for herself and her sister—this she leaves in the good and capable hands of Jesus.  In her severe pain, her belief in Jesus has not wavered.  I suspect that she’s simply believing in Jesus for a different miracle than the one he already plans to perform on her behalf.  I laugh with joy and excitement as I anticipate what is coming her way, and I wish I could be there to witness the experience!

As for me, I am currently experiencing circumstances that are causing me great pain.  I feel confused, disappointed, angry, helpless, fearful and heartbroken.  And I hear Jesus asking me the same thing that he asked Martha, “Do you believe this?”  I want to believe in Jesus for a miracle.  I am willing to believe in Jesus for a miracle.  I am trying to believe in Jesus for a miracle.  I am asking Jesus for a miracle.  Like Martha, I do have a miracle in mind, but I am beginning to realize that Jesus may already have a different miracle planned.  As I sit with this, I hear Jesus say to me:

“My beloved child, I know that you believe in me.  I know all that you believe, and your belief brings me great joy!  However, there is so much more that you do not know and have not yet experienced.  Therefore, there is still so much more that you have yet to believe.  Do not be discouraged when I ask you, “Do you believe this?”  I am simply introducing you to more and deeper knowledge and experience of myself, and I will ask you to believe more and deeper each step along the way.  Just like Martha, your faith is strong and you are well on your way!  Follow me. Your adventure with me has just begun!”

Ok!  Amen!

 

earn

by hovering love

“And when those who had been hired first came to be paid, they were convinced that they would receive more.” Matthew 20:10 (TPT)

“Why should my generosity make you jealous of them?” Matthew 20:15 (TPT)

Jesus describes the kingdom of God with a story about a landowner who hires people to work in his field. He hires many people as he comes across them throughout the day: at daybreak, at 9:00am, at noon, at 3:00pm and at 5:00pm. He agrees to pay the accepted daily wage with each person he employs. When evening comes, the workers line up (from the last hired to the first hired) to receive their pay. When the workers hired at daybreak see those hired at 5:00pm receiving the full “daily wage” amount, they assume and expect that they will receive much more pay. When they are also given the agreed upon daily wage amount, the same amount received by those who only worked one hour compared to the entire day that they worked, they become offended and angry. They complain to the landowner, calling his treatment of them unfair. The landowner denies any unfairness and reminds them that they received the amount that they agreed to. He also states that he has a right to spend his money as he sees fit, and he sees no reason why his generosity would justify their jealousy of others.

I can understand and appreciate the conflict described in this story. The workers are coming from the perspective and goal of earning money. The landowner is coming from the perspective and goal of extending grace and mercy while simultaneously getting his grapes harvested. The landowner is not just thinking of his own personal gain (completing the harvest); he’s also thinking about his community—providing jobs and income for all the people that he can, and being generous in the process. The earliest workers appear to have no complaints until they compare themselves with those who are hired last—turning their focus towards getting what they think they deserve in comparison to what they believe others have earned. Their code of justice is offended, and they resent being viewed in the same light as others that they believe to be less deserving. I admit that I understand their anger. In the world system, which is based upon earning what you get, their experience is completely unfair—it is, in fact, downright un-American! But the landowner, who represents God, has a different system with a whole different view of justice—it cannot be “earned”, it can only be received. God’s justice is based on grace, mercy and love, not what you’ve done (earned) or not done. Therein lies the rub: world system vs. heaven system. I’m happy and grateful to be a recipient of God’s grace, mercy and love. But am I equally happy and grateful to observe others, who I believe to be less deserving, receive God’s grace, mercy and love as well? Am I humble enough to view myself as being in the same “undeserving boat” with others, especially those who I view as being thoroughly inhumane—unloving, uncaring and un-repentant? How difficult is it for me to relinquish the codes of the world system for the alarming and bewildering codes of grace of heaven’s system? How willing am I to relinquish my assumptions and expectations regarding what I think I (and others) deserve? How readily do I accept and receive God’s merciful ways regarding myself, and others? All good questions, indeed!

The “great reversal” of the first being last and the last being first in the kingdom of God is confusing, for sure! From an earthly, worldly perspective it makes no sense, it can’t be figured out and it even seems quite unjust.  Is that because the world is in the realm of the mind, whereas, heaven is in the realm of the heart? Who can mentally grasp, let alone comprehend, the love, mercy and grace of God? Not me!

As I ponder this, I hear Jesus say to me:

“Dear child, don’t try to figure out my love—just receive it! Let go of the worldly codes that you were raised on and have worked so hard to observe; they will never satisfy the needs and longings of your heart and soul, they will only disappoint and exhaust you. Come to me and embrace my love, mercy and grace—both for yourself and for the world around you. There is NOTHING on this earth that I do not love—I love every person, animal, vegetable, mineral, land, sky, ocean, etc. I love it ALL! Embrace my love and allow my love to embrace you—only then can you be fully human, only then can you live life as it was intended to be lived. I want this for you because I love you and I want you to be with me always—each moment of each day.”

Thank you, Jesus! So be it! Amen!

shine

by hovering love

“Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:15, 16 (The Message)

This passage of talk about being salt and light for the world has always elicited mixed emotions in me. For decades, I’ve heard far too many exhortations using this passage from the pulpit and fellow Christians to boldly evangelize everything and everyone around me, leaving me feeling like a second-rate Christian at best. This charge to be open with my life, generously sharing my life and being with others, goes against my personality and temperament. First of all, I am an introvert. My personality type is that of a 5 on the enneagram and an INFP on the Meyers Briggs scale (if that means anything to you). By nature, I am quiet, reserved, thoughtful, sensitive, deeply intuitive, intelligent, protective of my privacy and space, cautious and untrusting towards people that I don’t know but deeply engaging with people that I know and feel comfortable with. When I do interact with others, I prefer to do so in a one-on-one or small group manner, and I have little interest in superficial small talk. I accept and enjoy the way that God has made me, and I am content. However, being “salt and light for the world”, especially the kind that glows brightly from a hilltop that everyone near and far can easily see, does not come naturally to me! It feels frighteningly overwhelming! If I were asked to put myself out there in this manner for any other reason, my response would be a very quick “No, thank you!” But since this charge is for the sake of others, and is pleasing to God, it sounds a bit more appealing—still an unpleasant and stretching challenge for me, but more appealing all the same.

I appreciate how The Passion Translation puts this in terms of being the kind of salt and light that is beneficial to everyone in the house. The inside of my house is not glaring brightly on a hilltop for all to see, it’s much more intimate, personal and real—something that I feel much more comfortable with, even with strangers. As odd as it may sound considering how I’ve described myself, I am willing to share my life and being with others, even painful or humiliating truths and experiences, if I sense that it will benefit them in any way. All humans are unique, made with painstaking cleverness and creativity on God’s part. Therefore, all humans will respond to and obey God’s charges in ways that are unique to them—unique to the person that God created them to be. We all have our own unique ways of fulfilling the charge to “shine”.

As I sit quietly with this passage of Scripture, I hear God’s gentle invitation to me:

     “My child, trust me to place you where you will be of most benefit to yourself and others—both among those you see regularly and those who are strangers to you. Trust me to be involved in each and every interaction that you have. Know that no part of yourself that you share with others will ever be lost or shared in vain. I am not wasteful with your life, your love or your being. Remember, nothing is ever wasted with me. Be anxious for nothing. Come, and follow me.”