empathy

“he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place” (Matthew 14:13)

“he had compassion on them and healed their sick” (Matthew 14:14)

Jesus had just heard the news of John the Baptist’s death, of how he was beheaded by King Herod and his head was then presented to Herod’s niece/step-daughter during the course of a wild dinner party—all done simply to enable Herod to save face before his guests. Jesus was deep in grief over the tragic and very traumatic loss of John, his relative and ministry fore-runner, and he desperately desired to spend some time alone, quietly embracing and processing his grief. But crowds of people observed his departure and followed him on foot, meeting him when his boat came ashore in a remote part of the coastline. Jesus saw the crowd of people approaching and he realized that his plan to care for himself and his grief was not going to happen, at least not at that time. His response to this situation is both stunning and awe-inspiring to me. I might have felt angry and put out, overwhelmed and empty of anything good worth giving to others in need. “How can I be expected or even asked to take care of others and their needs when all I want to do is curl up in the fetal position and lick my own wounds? It’s just too much!” might have been foremost in my thoughts at that moment. Not Jesus; he saw them coming and he “had compassion on them and healed their sick”. Some might make the excuse that Jesus was able to respond this way because he was God, possessing super-natural abilities beyond the tendencies and capabilities of humanity, but I don’t think that’s the case. “How could Jesus respond with such selflessness?” is a good question, one worth looking inside of my own heart and soul for the answer.

I believe that Jesus’ compassion for the loss and pain of others and his willingness to care for their needs came out of the depths of his own personal, present loss and pain. The source of his compassion was not their needs, but the very depth of his own need for soul care and healing. Jesus demonstrates much more than compassion. His suffering related to the reality and experience of their suffering—person to person—and the result was human empathy in action. Empathy inspired and motivated Jesus to minister to their needs; he didn’t just sympathize with their pain, he felt it as well and his heart went out to them. Jesus’ own need for care held great value—it made him truly empathetic towards the need for care in others.

What value does the pain, loss, suffering and grief that we all experience in life have? These experiences can burden our spirit and souls to the point of bitterness, despair and death if not expressed and shared with others who can extend the grace and care needed to see us through to a better end. Suffering has value and the power to produce goodness within us, if we let it. It can make us more forgiving, caring, kind, understanding, gracious, humble and brave—both for ourselves and others. It can make us more human in the very best sense and demonstration of the word.

I sense an invitation from Jesus in this story: “Don’t deny or hide from suffering, let it do its work and allow that work to be good, for your own benefit and for the benefit of others that I will lead along your path.” As I have opened up my suffering to God and the gentle care of the Holy Spirit, I have found there is always a reason and purpose in my experiences of suffering. When I have suffered, God has often led another person along my path later on who was suffering as well. The care that I received from God in my suffering could then be expressed through me to the other in need of similar care. My desire is to let suffering perform its good work within me so I’ll be open and prepared to allow God to care for others through me when the opportunity presents itself. No gift, blessing or suffering in life is for me alone—all is given and received for the purpose of being shared with others, as well. That’s what it means to be truly human.