process

process: a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Faith is a process.

When life is going the way we desire, we can find ourselves basking in the illusion that our faith is solid and true. But what happens to our faith when harsh realities of life turn our basking into wailing and shatters our illusions all to hell? I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me I tend to get rather emotional. When a person professes to place their faith and trust in a God who is always good and gracious, what do we do with our emotions at a time like that?

How do I react when I’m feeling confused and disappointed by God? Anger is a natural first reaction in times of disappointment, confusion, frustration or loss. My second emotion speaks up very quickly and often accompanies the anger—hurt. As old as I am (and I’m certainly old enough, indeed), I am still caught off guard by the things in life that elicit a reaction of anger and hurt. This pair of emotions expresses itself in the form of whining, complaining and self-justification, none of which help me (or anyone else!) in any way. It’s usually a bit of time before I get around to acknowledging that God’s ways aren’t my ways, nor are his desires and plans likely to always match up with mine (if ever). An even longer amount of time passes before I’m willing to accept and trust that God’s ways are good—even though I can’t see any of God’s good in my present situation at that moment.   Slowly, humble acceptance and contentment come as gifts as I wait to see what God is doing/will do. Humble because I come to terms with the fact that I’m not God, and I see and know very little (if anything at all). Anger is no match for humility; it cannot remain strong in the presence of a truly humbled heart. Gradually, even the hurt within me begins to diminish and heal, being transformed into contentment. Only then am I truly willing to wait—upon God’s timing, and God’s gracious plan for all involved. I guess this process is necessary to enable me to let go of whatever attachments caused me to feel confused, disappointed, angry and hurt in the first place.

Faith is a process, a never-ending process.