autumn

My first sight of this photo makes me feel happy and alive. Autumn is here! My birthday, fabulous leaf colors, sunny yet cool days, crisp nights and mornings—all join together to make autumn my favorite season. Though autumn always signifies the end of summer (fruitfulness) and the approach of winter (dormant hibernation), autumn always seems to be brimming with life to me. As leaves change color and fall, I feel a burst of life and beauty—like a last hoorah, a party of beauty before we close our eyes for a cozy winter nap. Autumn is a time for rest from our “labors of fruitfulness” and a time to enjoy the “fruits of our labors”. It’s like a vacation or a retreat. Which reminds me, I’m going to an abbey near my home this weekend for a retreat—at time to rest, regroup, recharge and enjoy. This retreat is my birthday gift to me and I expect to find God there, too!

Pondering this photo, I become aware of how I’ve been feeling lately. As my favorite season has been approaching, my usual aches and pains, joined by the typical losses that we all experience as we age, have slowed me down and stolen my “joie de vie”. I’m not all that old, but I’m not all that young anymore either. I’ve definitely been feeling old, but this photo and what it represents to me makes me feel beautiful and alive—even as the leaves turn brown and fall off of me.

As I meditate on what God has to say to me through this photo, I hear him say . . .

“You are in the autumn of your life, and many things are changing, dying and being lost. But beauty and life are still there, because I am still there with you. You may no longer be the one “bearing fruit”, but that is good. You’ve had your turn to bear fruit; now you’re allowing me to have my turn to bear fruit in and through you. Brown, falling leaves may signify death and loss to you, but I use even your deaths and losses to spread my love abroad to all around you. Remember always—nothing is ever lost or wasted with me. My life is vibrant within you and always will be as long as you allow my life and love to flourish within you. Enjoy your retreat—I’ll see you there!”